Thursday, February 25, 2010

Why Cocks Shouldn't Fly

My attention was brought to this email currently doing the rounds in the transportation sector which I've decided to reproduce courtesy of Butch:

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".
The attendant replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" 
Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: "May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. 'We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!'
Without flinching, she smiled and said: "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

10 comments:

savannah said...

BRILLIANT RESPONSE! i hope it's true, but even if it isn't, i swear, i'm sure everyone has had the impulse to say something like that when in the company of a fool! xoxoxo

MJ said...

Sassy.

And much more amusing than the "Bite me" I would have snapped at him.

KAZ said...

Was it Richard Branson by any chance?

Istvanski said...

Savvy - A witty response always counts as a win. Stroppy customers were created solely to be ridiculed x

MJ - "Bite me" huh? Do you do dentures too?

Kaz - Could you imagine it if it was Branson? The master of rubbish publicity getting hoisted by his own petard of an ego.

Jayne said...

Absolutely brilliant! We had an encounter with an utter twat on the flight outa London in January. The ground staff were quite literally dreading dealing with him on the flight. Thankfully he was flying in an opposite direction to us.
Y'always get one prize dick'ead dontcha?

Furtheron said...

Brilliant.

Just had it - I'm in Boston airport lounge. Going through security it's a nightmare, belt off, phone out, keys, all liquids expelled, belt off, shoes off.... etc.

All stood in line waiting and woman behind me is getting so touchy about the old couple in front who are taking their time. She pushed past me as I started to disrobe... I couldn't be arsed to challenge. Best bit I get through the scanner etc and... they've pulled her over and are going through her case :-) She is complaining she is late and the guard is just saying "That madam is why we recommend you arrive in plenty of time for you flight" and carried on rifling through her stuff. Ace! So it was probably just 10th through or so, so she did me a favour really!

Toy Couture said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!

Absolutely Hilarious!! Loves It!


Love Your Blog!

Piley said...

genius! i do hope its true... how often do these things turn out to be a hoax or just made up?? I'm still smarting over the captain pugwash debacle...

P

Istvanski said...

Jayne - Where was he going? The North Pole? They should've flown him there and impaled him on it.

Furtheron - Good to see it didn't delay your flight and you arrived safely to tell the tale. They're everywhere, these cocks.

Toy Couture - Cheers.

Piley - The urban myth of Pugwash. Incidentally, there's a band that go by the name of Pugwash who are quite a psychedelic combo. Andy Partridge has something to do with them I think.

Liz said...

Reminds me of the story I heard about an air steward faced with a stroppy woman who said, 'Don't you know who I am? I am a princess.' And he replied, 'Well , I'm a queen so I outrank you, so sit down bitch!'
Or something like that.