1. OZZY (& MISSUS) PRESENTING THE BRITS
The former Black Sabbath frontman regresses his television career (is that possible after "The Osbournes"?). I never watched it, it would've been totally bloody pointless listening to a long line of monotone bleeps. Ozzy without swearing is like sponge without custard. I Barked at the Moon and listened to Symptom of the Universe instead.
2. JACK NICHOLSON AT THE OSCARS
Surprise, surprise. It has been announced that the actor formerly known as Wolf will be presenting another statuette for best picture this coming Sunday. Hit the road Jack, I want to see a Mexican wolf boy present an Oscar or two in place of your cheesy smile.
3. IT WAS A FULL MOON YESTERDAY...
...and it played havoc with my internal waters. The next one will be on March 21st. I have stocked up on Bic razors and this time I shall be fully prepared.
4. WOLF HOWARD
Wolf will be appearing with Billy Childish & Musicians Of The British Empire at The Dirty Water Club tonight. He plays drums, paints pictures and occasionally does stand up comedy.
5. WOLVES IN CROYDON
Wolves, once widespread throughout Europe and existing in Britain in numbers as high as 6,500 on the mainland saw a decline as human populations increased. Not so. If you look around tomorrow in the dense woods of the Selhurst Park region, you just might catch a glimpse of the rarely sighted canis mccarthus lupus. This unusual breed, which is a cross between a Birmingham city fox and a Yorkshire terrier, will be scavenging for food aswell as points.
6. BLAZE BAYLEY HAS SUCCESSFUL OPERATION ON HIS MANE
It's a shame that the ex-Wolfsbane singer has been reduced to working in the advertising industry. Pull your socks up, Bayley...what's the matter with you? Is a comb over not good enough?
23 comments:
Wolf Howard is a sort of friend of one of Geoff's friends. The friend who's a Billy Childish stalker.
There, that was a really interesting comment, the sort that makes blogging worthwhile.
The Wolves have the best matchday tune and one of the best strips.
Still not keen on 'em.
The full moon - that explains why I haven't been able to sleep and possibly why The Squidget covered himself and his bedsheets in a quarter inch thick of purple and gold glitter. It was awful. He said he 'had spilled it by mistake'. Yeah right - emptied every jar of glitter he could find and shook it all about really hard whilst smearing it all over his body all the while more like. The stair carpet looks like a Graham Norton Show cast-off it is so embedded with stray glitter. I've given up. I have never seen a glitter dirty protest before and never want to again. Not on a school night anyway. Pesky pesky.
Your tags, Brits and shits, wolf and wolves reminded me of This
Betty - I remember sharing a few crude jokes with Wolf about 5 years ago before he took to the stage to play drums with Graham Day and Allan Crockford as The Solar Flares (the last two blokes formerly of The Prisoners, amonst other bands).
As long as you and Geoff are on t'net then blogging will always be worthwhile. No pass me the sick bucket.
Geoff - I seem to be envious about Wolves' strip too. I'm not envious of their manager though.
RoMo - Why were those jars of glitter within Squidget's easy reach, hmmm? Reminds me when I coloured in using felt tip pen some bright trousers my mum made me wear when I was knee high to a kitten. She went apeshit. I laugh about it now, as you will regarding the glitter incident in 6 months time.
Joanne - I can't seem to access this, something to do with a wolf taking a dump?!? I have DivX compatibility issues apparently :-(
Ah sorry, you must need DivX player to watch it (It's free). It's an episode of Trailer park boys called "Never cry shitwolf".
Oh shut up - that's what bastardbisonsnorer said BUT he has had glitter in an artbox for three years and chosen only now when he is slightly old enough to know better to empty it all. I think it is because secretly he knew it meant he had to sleep in Mummy's bed because his was in biohazard shakedown mode. x
Joanne - You've just converted me into a fan of Trailer Park Boys. I'm going to download the lot and burn them on to a disc. Bubbles is ace! Much laughter in the Istvanski household. Thank you.
RoMo - The Squidge is a growing child, therefore he is constantly thinking of new ways to artisticly express himself. It's something you should be aware of at your wisened age. Tip: Don't give him superglue.
;-P x
They're all on here if you need any missing episodes...
http://www11.alluc.org/alluc/
Yes - feeling very wizzened today I must say after trolling in at two o clock this morning (my sister's 21st birthday - a good time was had by all) and up at seven for rice crispy pouring duty. I may have to have a nap this afternoon.
Cheers Joanne, I've been downloading 4 of them at a time all day. I'll have enough TPB to last me 'til next xmas.
Hope the nap was worthwhile RoMo. Best to rest before another rice crispy pouring duty, that kind of work really takes it out of you. Happy 21st regards to sis of Roster :-)
It does when you are still a bit light-headed and got a big vice-like headache coming on after only 4 hours sleep. The nap was a welcome break. Headache only just gone - probably because I had a glass of wine with supper - funny that?. Am a bit croaky too - I am turning into Marianne Faithfull by the second.
And in anticipation of one of your special Ister quips:
No - I've never liked Mars Bars.8-)
istvanski,
ever have one of those days, when you can't say anything except. I really think British made film/tv film- short or long can't be beaten- if Hollywood was swallowed up tomorrow, I wouldn't give a shit, but BBC/Channel 4 were to go, I would crack up, I mean that.
RoMo - Marrianne, that reminds me. Are you still a member of that gym? I've just been to my gym and there's a new machine there.
I only used it for about an hour as I started to feel sick! But it's great, it's got Kitkats, Mars bars, crisps and everything in it.
Sean - The British film industry, ah, you must be thinking of that Sean Pertwee film "Dog Soldiers". Fantastic stuff.
Ha ha ha. Ister - the gym.....? (Cue the tumbleweed and whistling wind effects) No - I went about 8 times and then put my back out so badly I couldn't go back. Plus it was boring and full of idiots. And I didn't like it.
Glad to see Blaze's integrity is intact after his fleeting stint in The Maiden. It's good that he's keeping busy, and that product does look very interesting.
If it's good enough for Blaze...
RoMo - I remember when we were kids passing an establishment called "Brown's Gym and Sauna" in Colliers Wood. We opened the door and shouted; "Is Jim and Sonia in?". And then we scarpered.
Ok, so it was a lot funnier back then, but what do you expect from this blog?
JPT - Indeed. If it's good enough for Blaze...it's good enough for any thatched cottage.
We used to ring up the Wei Hai Wei Chinese Takeaway in Mortlake and ask them if they did takeaways? When they said 'yes' we would then say:
Ok, what's five minus three then?
Oh how we laughed! No 1471 then so very easy to be total teenage pain to all the local establishments!
2?
Now go and listen to the excellent Wolfmother album!
RoMo - Prank calls helped pass a lot of time. I've got recordings of my mates pretending to be John Lennon & Paul McCartney ringing up supposed relatives."Hello, is that Mr Lennon? Hi, it's John, John Lennon. I looked you up through Somerset House and found that you're my long lost cousin. I was wondering if you could put me up for a while until my next royalty cheque comes through..."
DH - Your powers of arithmetic are second to none. How do you do it?!? :)
Llewtrah - Wolfmother? Led Zep wannabies with one big afro. I prefer The Wolfmen.
werewolves in london? obviously with you, sugar, right?
*snickering like a 5 year old*
Look Savvy, Brits aren't werewolves, Yanks are! I've seen that documentary "An American Werewolf in London" - proof positive that it only affects those across the pond from us ;-)
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