The Eagle Has Landed

Responding enthusiastically in turn to Dive and Palace Fan's recent posts was too tempting to pass up. Not that they asked for a two-way correspondence, it's just the way us six string folk are. We like this kind of post, and any others who do not can swiftly move on. There's nothing new to see here (as regular readers will already know). Since acquiring Barnesy, I have kept a beady eye on electrics for sale over on eBay. The Epi Les Paul was covetted and gained.

And then that's when it grabbed my eye...and my heart. A beat up beauty of a Tele copy that was destined to be mine.

Stu had recently bought a new Telecaster copy for £30 from that infamous internet auction site and he seems pleased with it (he said it was "alright" - Paul Reed Smith quality comes at a price way out of reach for the majority of people, whereas usable guitars can come at a much lower price). He is also pleased with his Tokai "Love Rock" (Les Paul copy). Me and him should start a band and call ourselves "The Fake Lesleys".

Where was I?

Ah yes, talking 'bout that Tele on eBay.

I watched the item as soon as I discovered it. The starting Bid was £200 and I checked the end time which indicated to me that I'd have access to the internet to put in a last second killer bid if that was needed.

Over the few days in which it was up for auction, this scrumptious work of art did not attract any bidding attention, so I wondered why. Are Telecaster fans purists? Was it a case of bolt-on snobbery? Will most of them only go for that model so long as it says "Fender" on the headstock? This guitar that was up for auction did not have any brand name on it, nothing at all. Neither was it a mass produced guitar as the filler around the mother of pearl inlay clearly suggests. People who know me might say that I am no respector of popular guitar brands (Jackson being an exception ofcourse) and I'll buy any old shit if it looks good. Nearly, but not entirely true.

Over the years, I've had a few 'lemons' (from brands such as Columbus and Kay) that play like crap. For years I was ignorant of the fact that guitars should be properly "set up" (to have the intonation and action set up for optimum playability) which makes them easier to play. I always used to get frustrated at why the strings were so high up from the fretboard on my Hohner G3T - why couldn't I play any faster like Steve Vai and Dimebag Darrell?

Buying these lemons have been a valuable education to me. It's taught me that I prefer my guitars to be hard tailed, twin humbuckered and with a neck through or set neck (glued neck to the body) construction. Bolt-on necks? What's that all about?!? I also like certain colours of guitar like faded grey or natural hues, not only do they look smart but they are neutral colours that go with the rest of your outfits hanging up in your wardrobe. Maple tops can be flame or quilt, the body tonewood may vary although mahogany is favoured. Chrome or black chrome hardware is another neutral fashion statement. Pick ups by Seymour Duncan, EMG or Bareknuckle get my full approval, as do ebony and rosewood fingerboards.

Back to bidding night at Ister towers.

Two minutes and counting.

No bids.

Not even a twitch.

Last fifteen seconds...

My mind's going doolally.

What if I don't bid?

Will the seller re-list this item at a lower starting price?

Have I been tempted by a shoddy instrument that was manufactured in a Chinese sweat shop / labour camp?

This is no time for ethics, Ister!

If you want that axe click the "confirm bid" button now!!

DO IT, YOU WUSS!!!

The devil himself spoke to me that night, like he did with Robert Johnson at the crossroads near Dockery’s plantation, but I was facing my computer terminal instead.

I succumbed to temptation.

Overdrawn.

Fucked and far from pay day.

No going to football for the next two months.

Eating flour paste mixed with water whilst playing the smallest violin.

Crystal Palace FC will have to do with one less voice to cheer them on against Wolves this Saturday. I've got an eagle of my own.