Hurrah for the tax on the poor! Good news readers! The baby Jesus has blessed my festering wallet to the tune of £40. One line from the three lucky dips I bought at the weekend came in - and about time too. Prize money for four numbers in one line for last Saturday's draw came to £43 and nuffink pence. So deducting the three nuggets that was actually spent on the ticket, that leaves me with forty quid flush (as opposed to flushed down the pan never to be seen again the hundreds of pounds that I've gambled over the years without any return).This new found wealth has left me with six available choices of what to spend the money on. Rather than blow the whole lot stupidly on Hungarian palinka, class a drugs, fast cars and even faster women, I've decided to write a list of sensible purchases on what my couple of scores will get me. Focusing on value, neccessity and everlasting enjoyment, here are the choices:
Some much needed laminate flooring to 'tart up' the kitchen - 8 square metres = approx £39 and a bit from Wickes
£40 charity donation for the prevention of dogs with two noses being strangled by glue sniffing Slayer fans
Beer fund for the forthcoming Undertones gig (John Peel not included) in Br*ght*n = not much change to you, ducky...
Two pairs of Converse high tops at twenty knicker a pair from eBay
40 lucky dips for next Saturday's lotto draw
One silver bullet plus marksman to put Dean Windass (above) out of his misery this Saturday at Selhurst Park. I'm sure it would make a lot of Leeds United fans happier as they climb League One (that's the same league that Brentford used to call their home - but hey! That's so "yesterday's papers, man...").So my little Finbars, what should I 'spunk' the money on? How would you 'splash out'? Decent kitchen that I can walk on with bare feet or augment my chances for another lottery win? Save raggedy bi-proboscis canine from certain death or quality footwear? Deano for the bullet or piss up in a gay bar? The choice, as they say, is yours...
17 comments:
i vote for the floor..quit while you're ahead kinda thing...besides, it only takes 1 ticket to win..buying 40 actually stacks the odds against you or so ive been told
Savvy - "You've got to be in it to win it"...so they keep telling us. The more times you're in it, the more times you may win it, innit?
Howesy - This bloke I met in a Feltham pub called Mr C said that he'd do the dirty deed. Dirt cheap he was too. I opted for George instead, his aim will be true as long as he stays away from the Domestos.
PS - Just to clear up one thing:
As far as I'm aware, there is no pub in existence in the Feltham area that goes by the name of "Mr C". The pub in question is called "The Queen's Joyride".
that would work if you played 40 times, sugar...but i digress, whachagonnadew?
"The Queen's Joyride". We had a gig there last month. Well, I say we had a gig, it was booked but it had to be cancelled as a Jumbo jet's bog was emptied onto the pubs flat roof as it flew into Heathrow, and the festering pile of traveller's shite seeped throught the roof and flooded the bar.
We got a repeat booking, but I don't know. D'you think the smell will've cleared? Apparently the in-flight meal was a lovely squid curry...
Savvy - I might as well get interest on it in a savings account while I'm trying to decide what to do with the cash.
Howesy - Nasty business mate. But it all landed on Feltham you say? I'm surprised anyone actually took notice of it.
"The Queen's Joyride" is a very popular name for a pub. The Undertones are playing there next week.
I think you should spend it on a years supply of Toilet Duck quite frankly.
Blimey, is it this Saturday at Palace? better check on my brownie points...
Try not to spend it all at once! Hmmm. How many beers-and-curries would £40 buy you?
Do a Tony Soprano and bet it on one of Saturday's matches. From then on it's a slippery slope which ends in being assassinated by one of your workmates (I'm guessing).
I've only ever seen Windass in very short clips on the telly. Funny name, funny guy.
RoMo - Duck dependency numbs the pain, so they say. Just add sugar according to taste!
Stray - It's that time of season again. Fancy a pint before hand? Same pub? Wear your colours this time!
Llewtrah - Not enough.
Geoff - His name gets me every time! On a more serious note, the divide between north and south is growing.
Hmmm more flooring eh? you're addicted to it, still....at least the floor space is smaller, haha!!
sorry I couldn't make it on Saturday. Good game? Sorry to see Taylor get the boot...what's your opinion?
and you weren't piloting the 0800 from Whitton today were you? the announcements reminded me of your dulcet tones...
Jif - I've spent the best part of the day putting that flooring down. Nice.
Stray - Taylor is a nice guy but we weren't getting the results. Do you think I should put a bet on Neil Warnock becoming the new manager of Palace?
You missed a game which showed a sub-standard Eagles at play. Hull were creating chances but we weren't. Somehow I'd knew it would end up a draw although I didn't place a bet on it. It was worth watching Mark Hudson seemingly boot Micheal Turner up the backside, but not at the cost of a penalty. Our goalie (Julian Speroni) played well but the rest of our team...forget it!
What's wrong with Jay-Jay Okocha?
i think you'll get the most use from the converses. this is sensible talking.
Trust me Rivergirlie, Istvanski has no need of another pair of Converse...
Rivergirlie - Is it really you, Captain? ;-)
Chairman - You're as good a salesman of your own product as Gerald Ratner. You should be saying things like: "Istvanski is a valued customer and collector of our fine footwear products, and for his loyalty we will be giving him Chuck Taylor high tops free for the rest of his life".
HEY!! what's with the new avatar?
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