London Guitar Show

Conventions, exhibitions and shows tend to bring all the anoraks out. For some it's stamp collecting, for others it's train spotting (why?!?). I even read somewhere that there are gatherings at prestigious venues that put on exhibitions that "celebrate" erotica. It just so happens that, for me, my personal preference in porn would be the sight of a new, shiny and oh-so-curvy guitar or two and the odd vintage KILF (Keyboard I'd Like to Fondle). There were no keyboards at The London Guitar Show, but boy, there were loads of guitars.

Above: the Dean guitar stand

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The venue for this annual show was held inside the large airport terminal looking Excel building which is just a short swim away from London's city airport. This made a refreshing change from the usual Wembley Exhibition Center for me, as travelling to and from Excel was a lot easier. Coming back to Sarf London by car from Wembley on a Sunday afternoon is a fate worse than sniffing that putrid old cheese flan that they used to serve us back in school.

Above: Nice inlay work on this Warwick bass

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Everything guitar related was at hand. Virtually all makes and models were present (with the exception of Jackson - very disappointing), from various acoustics, banjos, mandolins and bazoukis to amplifier manufacturers. Odds and sods such as lemon oil, plectrums, straps and t-shirts were on sale (I bought one with the Pistol's poison pen font type logo which said "Nevermind the bollocks, it's the London Guitar Show"...it looks better than how I'm describing it, honestly it does) as well as the instruments themselves.

Above: Something for everyone, including Southend United supporters - it's an Epiphone "caravan" guitar

Shortly after midday, I went to the main stage to see an acoustic performance by legendary prog rocker Steve Howe. An edgy sounding opener in the form of the standard acoustic folk instrumental "Classical Gas" was followed by well-played renditions of "Cactus Boogie" and "Mood for the Day" amongst others, making Howe's alloted thirty minutes rush by in a flash. Truly marvellous stuff. It was time for a spot of lunch, so I wolfed down some of Excel's finest chicken jalfrezi (with added carrots and beansprouts - it was all part of the mixture that came out of the vat).

Above: Yes - it really is Steve Howe onstage

After the rather tasty, but falsely described so-called chicken jalfrezi, I ventured a few paces out of the main building to The Fox Bar for some liquid refreshment, where my pint of premium San Miguel and I promptly sat in front of a large plasma screen for the other highlight of the day - Sky Sports 1. I watched with nervous expectation (I expected to lose), as live from Selhurst Park, I saw Palace beat Derby 2 - 0 (Morrison 29, Kennedy 67). The upside of this is that Sunderland have deservedly (under Roy "up yer bollix" Keane) been promoted and the downside is that Steve "a tractor ran over my face" Bruce's Brum City also got into the top tier.

The Eagles winning and being so near to beautiful guitars...it doesn't get much better than that. For a further ground breaking write-up of this weekend's Championship relegation dog fight, I thoroughly recommend you go here.

Below: Yes - we really did spoil Derby's party

This morning at work, I greeted a colleague thus:

ME: "Hello Bill. How was your weekend?"

GRANT: "Fuck off, you cunt!"

Not exactly what I'd call a witty reposte, but you can't expect much from a QPR supporter, can you? All-in-all it was a rather productive weekend.