Friday, January 08, 2010

Tasting The Brown Stuff

It's time to put the ol' taste buds through their paces and this time, it's personal. In a milk chocolate kind of way.

Good Day by The Chocolate Society

Hey, this effort is enjoyable! It's an ideal accompaniment for a hot mug of Earl Grey. Made of 40% cocoa milk, it's congenial enough without being overbearing which means it's gratifying for anytime of the day. Frivolous of gob (in a perky sense) and worth it.

Honeycomb & Vanilla by Kshocolat

This one's a bit strange; nice idea on paper but orally offensive. It decieves you into tasting the vanilla, but let it linger on your tongue for a little longer and what you're actually tasting is sugar. Not all that surprising considering that 47.3% of the total ingredients is sugar. One for the sweet tooths.

Choxi by Prestat

"Naturally rich in antioxidants" it says on the wrapper. We can deduce that Prestat are targetting the guilty by giving them a health kick in a product deemed a social leper at the local gym. This could be clever marketing but you'll need to eat 25g (or 2 squares) of the stuff daily to gain the benefit of the (supposedly) anti-aging ingredient. Each bar has 6 squares which should last the user for 3 days. Call the ambulance, I've just OD'd.

Milk Chocolate by Devine

Here we have the choccy bar that proclaims freedom from social guilt: welcome to the fair trade assurance (ie; made entirely without Oompa Loompa slave labour). Dazzle those supercilious dinner party guests as you wax lyrically about a cooperative of small holder farmers in Ghana that produce the finest quality of cocoa beans from Kuapa Kokoo, then watch as they make their excuses and leave you to mingle with other people. Speaking of wax, that's the after taste you'll get from eating this, which in turn will make you drop any trendy political pretensions as you bugger off in search of some Galaxy.

Lemon & Pepper by Kshocolat

Another oddball offering by a chocolatier who would be better off making crackers. White chocolate with lemon and pepper is an adventurous attempt at doing something different. Trouble is, most alternative confectionary usually tastes crap. This is just about edible but only if chewing on sweet plastic with a savoury kick happens to be your thing.

Emergency Chocolate by Bloomsberry & Co

Groovy marketing of a hip product: "For immediate relief of: Chocolate Cravings, Lovesickness, Exam Pressure, Mild Anxiety & Extreme Hunger". Swiss made 33% cocoa premium milk chocolate - not only should it sell by the bucketload, it'll also solve all the world's problems (or at least make them go away for a bit). The best of the bunch.
* * * * *
And finally (nothing to do with chocolate) my eccentric mate Parsley has been taking advantage of the recent meteorological conditions to make this strange but atmospheric film:


KAZ said...

No 1 sounds good to me.
How do I join the chocolate society?

MJ said...

Why did he give the snow(man)? only one breast?

Jayne said...

Friend of mine recently gave me a couple of 'sticks' of Hachez Cocoa D'Arriba chocolate. It's fuckin' 'orrible! Normally, a really good chocolate will give my dentures toothache. This stuff left me craving for a Mars bar mouthwash.

Istvanski said...

Kaz - Get yourself down to Sainsbury's and buy yourself a bar (I know what you're thinking but no, they're not sponsoring this blog). According to the blurb on the first choccy bar in the review, there is no Chocolate Society as such. Perhaps it's up to us to start one up?

MJ - Colin Firth plays the part of the snowman and someone in the film's production unit has presumed that Mr F is a tit (singular not plural).

Jayne - Are we all too used to the uber sweet stuff? Perhaps you should try the honeycomb and vanilla by Kshocolat? I'll see you at the dentist's.

Piley said...

Blimey, you're brave eating that amount of choc in January!! Jan MUST be the month where the least amount is eaten?? Have to say I am well n truly sick of chocs at the mo after crimbo.

I liked the sound of the honeycomb one.. and am v partial to Chilli Chocolate too... just not for a while!


savannah said...

thank you very much, sugar! i ended up not only BUYING very delicious imported chocolates, BUT i also made brownies!!!! :~D xoxoxox

rockmother said...

My Dad gave me some Lemon and Black Pepper chocolate which was really rich and more-ish and consequently ended up being rather sickly!

Istvanski said...

Piley - Not really, mate. There's still loads of it left over. I can save you some if you want?

Savvy - Swap some of your brownies for the left over "exotic" chocs from this post? I don't blame you if you refuse...x

Romo - It's not exactly the taste sensation you'd imagine it to be prior to trying, is it? I think it's responsible for some rather dodgy goings on in my gut right now. Count yourself lucky you're not in the nearest vicinity of where I am.

Liz said...

Divine is yummy!! How dare you slanderously slur it?!

Actually most chocolate is yummy ...

Sylvia said...

The Chocolate Society actually existed until they went in administration recently! They had a shop in Elizabeth Street in Pimlico. I suggest you try - they sell wonderful stuff. You can find it in their shops and in Waitrose. My favourites are the chocolate olives.

Liz said...

I am currently off work recovering from shingles. After reading your chocolate review, I now believe that some Emergency Chocolate would cure me instantly.

I like the sound of your mate Parsely. NASA space suits should be everyone's clothing of choice in this weather.

Istvanski said...

Liz- Divine is a bit "meh" for me, nothing special at all. Anyone for Cadbury's? I'm aiming for a Bournville visit before the big takeover.

Sylvia - Thanks for that link, I hope Kaz takes note - perhaps we could all muck in and claw The Chocolate Society from the administrators.
Chocolate olives, eh? Are the olives Green & Black? D'ya geddit? Arf-arf.

Liz - Best wishes for your recovery. Send Big Bear to the nearest Sainsbury's where he will find the panacea that is Emergency Chocolate. All will be well once this has been administered to you.

NASA space suits: excluding drafts since the early 1950s. Just make sure you visit the loo before getting into one.

Sylvia said...

yes actually, the olives are green and black. They're roasted almonds covered in dark chocolate with a greenish / blackish covering on top. Wonderful. But don't eat too many - after the first 5 I feel quite bilious...

Istvanski said...

Pah. You're a lightweight, Sylvia.

Sylvia said...

oh, if only.....

Giles said...

For Immediate Relief
Scientists at Bloomsberry & Co Have announced what could be the greatest breakthrough in food technology since the invention of Milk Chocolate. The e-mail friendly chocolate bar. Using existing technology platforms they have developed a chocolate bar that can be successfully sent via email. All the recipient will need is a computer (Windows or Mac), a broadband internet connection and a standard ink jet or color laser printer. 'Finally distance will no longer matter, wherever you are in the world you will be no more than a click away from chocolate" said an overjoyed spokesperson at the recently held press conference. Bloomsberry Scientists have pointed out however that the technology is still very new and is several years away from commercial release. Also there are regulatory hurdles to overcome including FCC and FDA, approvals as well as enhancement of the final product to further improve the consumer experience. " Currently the emailed chocolate is extremely thin and several of the trial participants have indicated that the taste is closer to that of paper than one usually expects from a conventional chocolate bar, but this is to be expected in the early stages of development. We are working with the major printer ink manufacturers to a develop a more chocolaty taste. They are however proving difficult, as with all new ideas you often meet resistance from conventional thinkers" quoted an unnamed Bloomsberry spokesperson off the record.

For information on this and other life enhancing chocolate innovations go to