Spiritual shenanigans at Griffin Park! This may interest a few readers who live in the locality. It's something you can get into if you fancy going from one conspiracy theory to another. They all seem loosely tied in with each other (if you have the inclination to investigate) from The Priory of Sion, Freemasonry and The Knights Templar to Alchemy, Snake Oil and The Philosopher's Stone (not the Harry Potty shite).Personally, I think it's a load of old bollocks. To me, a freemason makes me think of a traffic cop who gets away with a speeding offence. Nevermind the Priory of Sion - what about the graffiti at Syon Lane station? Knights Templar? More like Barron Knights who couldn't play musical instruments and got violent about it. As for the rest of the snake oil stuff, let's face it - humans sin and fuck up all the time. They are consumed by greed and if a panacea for all of life's illnesses did exist, it would've been manufactured by Glaxo-Smithkline (who, incidentally, are based quite close to Syon Lane - do you see the connection?). Sure, if such a cure-all were available on the market, it would mean the end of all the giants in the pharmaceutical industry. But who would care? If everyone was eternally youthful, working for a living would be a bizarre concept.
We all know a miracle at Brentford would only occur if they ended up topping the Premiership. Topping it? They'd bloody murder it.
8 comments:
I thought Rick Wakeman was the beast of Brentford. Though football isn't the first thing I think of where Brentford's concerned. It's nylons.
Freemasonry is for the women, too. Ladies Nights are like surreal wedding receptions.
Hasn't Brentford resident Rat Scabies co-written a book about The Search for the Holy Grail? Isn't he a professional grail-hunter now? Is this relevant? I might have to go and google Brentford Nylons. Incidentally, there is still an original Brentford Nylons sign above the now shut down infamous Wheelhouse pound shop in Haaahnslow High Street. Apologies for the most pointless and boring comment ever printed.
Holy Grail? Isn't that the FA Cup?
"Hasn't Brentford resident Rat Scabies co-written a book about The Search for the Holy Grail?"
He certainly has Rocinante of Mocinante.
And it's shite.
One good gag in it: the guy who writes the book tells Rat that he saw a really exceptional Damned gig once; they ended up trashing the stage, smashing all their instruments and burning the drum kit, does he remember it? "Could have been any of several hundred gigs we did", Scabies replies...
Bobster
p.s. Nylon was invented by a chap called Wallace Carothers. It was originally called Fibre 66. He topped himself did Wallace because he was convinced he'd been a failure in life...
Not a lot of people know that.
Geoff - Do you have any first hand experience of women's Freemasonry? What is a surreal wedding reception like? I'm intrigued.
RoMo - Yes, yes and yes. I'm not sure wether a vintage pair of Brentford nylons will be an improvement over the current brand you wear, but Bob tells me they don't wrinkle around the ankles so much once you've worn them constantly after a few years.
DH - It is to Brentford.
Bob - Brian James once described the 76 era Damned as "a bunch of 'erberts wanting to make a racket". Thirty plus years later and they're still getting away with it.
But oh, what a glorious racket it is.
Blimey. Old Ratters seems to have slipped into any one of the 7 books in the Robert Rankin Brentford Trilogy.
My own personal favourite is when Brentford have to win the FA cup to prevent the forces of evil taking possession of Griffin Park because the Ark of the Covenant is buried beneath the pitch. The players get scared off one at a time by the nasty devil type people and their places are taken by a troupe of circus performers. The mental image of a pair of conjoined twins flying down the left wing and crossing to the highly skilled midget juggler centre forward is a peach.
But I guess you had to be there...
"...[the Brentford football team's] places are taken by a troupe of circus performers."
So this is a non-fiction book then, Howester? That side did quite well to reach the play-off final then...
Bobsters
p.s. I trust you cut-out-and-kept your cut-out-and-keep Steve Martin playing the banjolele collector's edition of the Grauniad weekend magazine on Saturday.....
"...be obsequious, purple and have your legs removed..."
Bobster, yes I have it.
And now, let's take the non-conformist's oath... say after me, "I promise to be different..."
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