Stable Songs & Honeyless Bees

I’d just walked through the ticket barrier at Tufnell Park underground station last Friday evening when the phone rang. The screen displayed "Vic Rattlehead Line 1". That’ll be Stu then.

"Where are ya?"
"I’ve just got here. Where are you?"
"Over here".
"Where? I can’t see ya".
"By the entrance to the club, hob nobbing with The Stabilisers".

He was dead right. I wonder if he managed to get their autographs as they humped their gear upstairs? Stu was in good spirits nevertheless. He’d recently treated himself to some quality fake Converse (courtesy of Matalan’s) All-Star "Chuck Norris" High Tops, a snip at six quid a pair. Suddenly I felt rather stupid and out of pocket. After being told by The Stabilisers that they were due onstage at about nine-thirty, we decided to find a quiet pub down the road from the venue. We ended up at an establishment next to The Town and Country club (that’s "The Forum" to you whipper-snappers) and we sank a well deserved liquid refreshment after walking down that hill. The entertainment at The Forum for the night was a band called Gossip, featuring, I was informed, a rather physically large female singer by the name of Beth Dildo. Whatever floats your boat. Keeping our vessel bouyant for tonight were the suberb talents of THE STABILISERS a rather top notch melodic punk band from London and the south east that I’d been waiting to see live for ages. Unfortunately, we had to endure a support band called Black Time, who were utter shite, but not as bad as watching Brentford lose at home to MK Dons (more on that later). Everyone should give Black Time a wide berth. On the flipside, anyone into punk should check out The Stabilisers. Honest Guv, they’re worth it. Half of their set featured new material which was good, but I would’ve relished it more if they’d played stuff from their first two albums that were familiar to me. I guess they got bored and wrote some new tunes. But they are a tight bunch of performers and worth seeing again - even Stu thought that the sound was good, and he’s a very fussy eater when it comes to gigs. Why not listen to one of their songs on this brand new Depcast?

The performance ended at approximately 11.15pm, leaving me just enough time to get home to Croydon and have three hours kip before getting up again to start work. Never ever become a shift worker, especially a safety critical one. You don’t get to enjoy your evening’s out as much.

How I managed to get through the morning’s shift is miraculous - probably something to do with the buzz of the previous evening’s entertainment. After knocking off time, it was back home for a bite to eat and back out for Saturday’s afternoon of fuckery at Griffin Park. Good job we stopped at the pub for a drink prior to the match as it always helps to numb the pain with a few doubles of sour mash knocked back.

Howesy: Pie Muncher of the Year 1981

What can I say that Howesy hasn’t already said? I paid £18 for a suntan and I’m still as white as a sheet. I laughed out of embarrasment when the third goal was scored. I failed to take an interest after finding out that Palace had a wasted trip up to East Anglia. Fuckery. Utter fuckery. For those without a nervous disposition, photographs of this "event" can be seen here.

For others who are purposefully suicidal (and also happen to be Brentford fans) but for any others who don’t know what I’m on about, you can watch a brief report of this sorry event here. I'm glad that I’ve got four more days off work to mentally recover.